dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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