his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My ass is underappreciated
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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