She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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