You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
