Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
