Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
