yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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