No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I've blown a few things in my day
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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