she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
