if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
