Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Randomize
