So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
