there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
