cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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