K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
