I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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