your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
