i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
