11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
