when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
