this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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