So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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