I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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