I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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