I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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