so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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