Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".

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(925): View more from California

I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'

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(714): View more from California

BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?

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(425): View more from Washington

You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects

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(904): View more from Florida

when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona

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