The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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