Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
