I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
