I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize