are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
