it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
