the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
