He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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