I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
