All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just invented taco cereal.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
