She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this just has baby written all over it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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