There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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