I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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