just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
