Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
