i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
