we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
