During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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