why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
