question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
