You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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