I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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