(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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