I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
