the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
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I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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