there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
