i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
