I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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