were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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