considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
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Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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