based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
