I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Randomize
