I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you would pick up someone in the library
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
