your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
