I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
