I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
