Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
