I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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