Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
