This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize