Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
